This wonderful humorous play appeared at the official Blizzard forum five days after the game was released. It was written by the user under the nickname Caore , In his own words-because he had nothing to do plus, he wanted to somehow express his feelings in relation to the plot of the third part of Diablo, which struck him in the very heart. The play was to the taste of many foreign players and “Gambling.ru ”I decided to completely translate it into Russian in order to please compatriots.
ATTENTION!!! All the following text consists of solid spoilers , So read it only if the game has already passed.
Act I
A blue meteor falls from the sky. Blue! The color of magic! The player cannot miss this event and goes to look. Just one eye. Do not ask why – he is just a hero. They have so started. The zombie sent for the solemn meeting doomedly crunches under his feet.
Citizens, guard, all honest people : We die in this place, but he is a real beast in battle! We argue, it is from non -falems!
Leah : Hello, I am lia. My uncle Decadard Cain, Fig knows what years from the family, but you will immediately recognize him, went to admire the fallen meteorite and did not return. I'm sure he is safe and unharmed, just look. By the way, I'm not here either for furniture. My mother is the name of Adria, and my dad is a dark wanderer. And I'm not going to reincarnate into Diablo at all when you are least waiting for this. Although now you will definitely suspect me. But you will pretend to be surprised, true?
Player : You say where the meteor is, there is Deckard? That's how the coincidence! Straight two zombies with one explosion. Actually, I do not care. But you can look.
The player looks and finds Descard Cain.
Player : Great, Cain. Well, and what the thing is?
Decard : I am no idea, but I fucking great. Now I can't collect my brains in a bunch. That is, thoughts.
Player : Everything is clear, this is TiREAL.
Decard : I don't understand what you are talking about ..
Player : It is elementary, Cain! It is blue-exactly in the color of angelic wings. And he collapsed from the sky. Well, from the sky, the one that heaven with a capital letter n. Deduction!
Decard : Don't eat my brain deduction. Better finish Leorika, King-Square.
Player : Actually I don't care. But now reluctance ..
Decard : Finish! This will add intrigues to the mysterious meteor. And the old fans will be in joy.
Player : And I say – this is Tirael. And deduction. Tirael! And deduction! We argue?
Decard : Argue. By the way, good prey will fall from Leorik ..
Player : Do not care about Tirael! Speak, where is Leorik?
The player sets off in search of Makgaffin – to kill Leorik, and finds the place of the fall of the meteor – and Tirael.
Player : Actually you do not care for me, Tirael, but how life? Where are the wings of affairs? Isn't it wonderful, wonderful weather today?
Tirael : I'm not a tirael to you. I am a mysterious stranger! So mysterious that I suddenly completely forgot who I am!
Player : Listen, buddy, you are Tirael. One of the archangels or as you are there, and you fell from the sky. Something is happening there?
Tirael : I am a mysterious stranger. Here are the cross. Here are the two crosses! Here are those ..
Player : Okay, be your way. Let's go to Cain, he will figure out what you are eaten with.
Decard : Look, a mysterious stranger who forgot who he is, and he will not remember! Rather, go there, I don’t know where, find it, then, McGaffin knows that!
Leah : Uncle wants to say that you need to collect three parts of the sword. This will help a stranger to remember who he is. Maybe we will have to make a lobotomy with this sword … Hee-hee! By the way, I'm not going to turn into a devil at all at all! I already said that?
Player : Yes Tirael is ..
A decisively configured party : Do not care! Look for McGaffin … knows that! Create a story!
Player : Yes green Christmas trees ..
Party : There is prey, a lot, good.
Player : I go. By the way, to ruin the columns with one spit is fine.
The player finds the first macguffin.
Magda : Ha ha ha, I'm a fairy of the exposition! Since you have no idea where to look for the next McGaffin, I will kindly tell you about it. There should be a place of healthy competition in life, true?
Player : You are probably a local village fool?
Magda : Chop off his head!
Player : Well, see you at the next McGaffin, the Fairy of the Exposition.
On the way, a player with a comrades meet a ghost.
Ghost : Ha ha ha, I'm a fairy of the exposure ..
Player : We just saw the fairy, so you are not her. Deduction!
Ghost : Okay, I'm a simple statist. My business is subtly hinting to you that you are special.
Player : I'm special? Well, it is necessary! I would never have guessed. Despite all the McGaffins and people who are evading direct answers to my questions, but at the same time they are so frankly licking … It does not seem to you that it gives out schizophrenia?
Ghost : How do I know? I am a simple statist, not a certified psychiatrist. Listen, they pay me a line, so don't be distracted. Ready?
Player : I do not care, however … is always ready. Come on, stand up. Surprise me.
Ghost : So, so. To get the next McGaffin, you must climb into that temple.
Player : And what will happen?
Ghost : And the fact that only Nefalen can enter there. For those who are in the tank: it means "super-primarily". Chosen. The only one. Unique. In short … first you need to get two more macguffins.
Player : Well, yes, I came for this. Collect prey and run on stupid quests.
Ghost : Here you go! If you get these macguffins, then you will prove that you are Nefale!
Player : Milk Christmas trees ..
The player collects the necessary macguffins, enters the temple.
Ghost : Wow-u-oo-u-u-u-u-u-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo. You are definitely special! You are so strong, and kind, and so beautiful!
Player: Yes.
Ghost : It was a delicate hint that you are special. Sounds convincing?
Player : Sounds like a cheap statist. The Fairy of the Exposition was more convincing. Oh, and here is the fairy of the exposition ..
Magda : Surprise! My mighty clan will now shine into powder, not allowing you to take possession of McGaffin! Chop off his head! And chop off this too! All!
Player : The prey falls from your “mighty clan”?
Magda : My clan can fall the whole, but you will not get mining from it.
Player: Ugh…
Magda: He is here generally to take the eyes. So that you do not think that I succumb to you.
Player: I don't think. This is harmful.
Magda: Ah, so? You don't appreciate me at all. How evil I am, oh, how evil I am! But I will not say now where to look for the last macguffin!
Player : By the way, and for you McGaffins why?
Magda : How do I know? I wrote something script? The description of my character says: "Trying to prevent the player to make McGaffins, fails to fail". Suppose for some reason I need her strength, it goes?.. Stop. What does it mean “fails”?
Player : As Stanislavsky said there? If the last mcGaffin hangs on the wall, in the last act it will shoot. And you will hook you. Don't be upset you so. You can still capture a couple of morons from the new tristram, for example. They still stand there without any benefit and foul.
Leah : I heard everything, by the way ..
Player : And you generally absolutely unexpectedly turn into a great evil, so don't shine!
Leah : While you cursed here, I, by the way, remembered where the last McGaffin could fall ..
Magda : I laugh omior to you all in the face! The last McGaffin you can’t see how your ears! Chop off him ..
Player : You're not tired yet? And your clan?
Magda : Well, I'm tired of me, tired! And they endowed them. We generally already for … for … deputy, in short. What can I do if it is written in the contract?
Player : And now you will enclose me with an unexpected plot turn.
Magda : Well, yes, the contract is a typical ..
Leah : And for now I’ll go, check how the decard. Since the gaming mechanics removed the identification scrolls, he is afraid that he would not be killed for the sake of cheap drama.
Player : Derie Derie this mag! If she kills Descard, he will not be able to give the sported when I prove that Tirael is Tirael! Single evil!..
Meanwhile, Magda kills Descard, but her troops die at the hands of Leah, using some sinister dark power. And since according to the canons of the genre from the character of Caliber Descard Cain, a heroic self -sacrifice is required, he does the best that he is capable of: from the last forces reunits the sword of a mysterious stranger, who, according to him, is never Tirael.
Decard : Yes, so that I die, this is the sword of Tirael! By the way, yes, it's time.
Descard is dying immediately
Player : Magda-ah-ah, so that you!
Leah : I'm sure Tirael now remembered everything. But Magda, of course, abducted him while you were here with a magazine picture. Why did you do nothing?
Player : Because it was a Kat-scene to be her! I could not move my finger.
Leah : Yes, it turned out stupid.
Player : Okay, let's go, cut through in a couple of zones, so that the first act finally ends!
The player cuts through after a couple of zones, kills the Square King and collides with Magda.
Player : Here you are!..
Magda : How do you like my exposition – well, about Leorika, about how he was a villain?
Player : Convincing. But I killed him already, a couple of hours ago ..
Magda : And you also want a boss? Old, like a fifteen -year -old wine. Meet a booter … I wanted to say – a butcher.
Butcher : Oh, fresh meat! In the fire do not stand!.. In Vova, this phrase is almost a meme. Why no one laughs? Something is wrong? I offended someone, yes?
Player : Yes die already.
Butcher: Everything, I am dying ..
Tirael : I remembered everything. Jump into the plot!
[[Break]]
Act II
The player arrives in the desert
Player : Oh, fresh air. Finally! Reminds me of the second act in the second "Diabla". Yes, and the desert. And in the first decorations there were a la medieval Europe. I hope there will be no jungle in the third – only I missed the flayers.
Tirael : Belial somewhere here. Get ready, you will be amazed at his masterful ability to hide. No wonder he is nicknamed the Lord Stls … that is, lies!
Player : Well, I heard that the emperor behaves strangely. We argue, he will be a whitewash?
Tirael : Listen, well, that would be completely stupid on his part.
Player : Yes, I agree.
Tirael : In general, we came here so that you could kill Magda, she is still the first in turn.
Player : Maybe it’s better to start with Belial immediately? The Hell Vladyka is after all.
Tirael : New stones of souls have not yet been brought, to captivate the essence of Belial – nothing. Until someone tells where to get these stones, you still have a secondary storyline.
Player : And the next battle with the boss?
Random NPC : Here the witches blocked all the roads. Kill Magdu to move on.
Player : However, you will not get away from fate!..
The sorceress : Hi, I'm a companion of the protagonist! With me you will live the Magda lap!
Player : Very by the way … although it seems that everything works like that.
The sorceress : I was created by the Prophet, who had foreseen that I would come in handy.
Player : So you are something like a piano in the bushes?
The sorceress : Yes, like that. Plus you just needed a third satellite to work the rule of three. You have a warrior and a thief, there is not enough magician, and now I am.
Player : In this game, everything is built from stamps?
Magda : I did not wait? I continue to tease you with typical villains!
Player : Shut up already, typical misunderstanding. Look at you nauseous ..
Magda : Hey, I'm a boss who manages to slip away from you! I am worthy of respect!
Player : I would have respected you if you stopped getting me out.
Magda : I said ..
Player : Part of the contract, I remember. But do not make a booth from a serious drama!
Magda : Okay, don't worry, you are almost at the goal. All the hints you need are placed on the way to me. Now go to my lair and bring out.
Magda dies
Player : Excellent, the barrier on the road is removed. And where is another piano? And where are the bushes in which he hides?
Tirael: What such a piano?
Player: Adria, dead mother of Leah. It's time to suddenly come to her and appear. Well, to unexpectedly … a plot turn, all that ..
Tirael : Not the time to think about the piano! Belial will also wait. Now you must warn the emperor that he was surrounded by liars and deceivers! You already know about this, because the royal guard actually turned out to be demons!
Player : Of course, I don't care, but why warn Belial that demons surround him?
Tirael : Belial under the mask of the emperor – too obvious. The lord of the lies cunning. He, like a gray cardinal, pulls the strings, holding in the shade. We have already discussed that it would be a height of stupidity from his side to pretend to be an emperor.
Player: So, you still need to warn him. Correctly and neatly.
The player achieves an audience with the emperor.
Player : Hey, your imperial majesty, you are surrounded by liars and deceivers.
Emperor : How dare you?! Guardian! Throw them into the deepest pits of hell!.. Uh, in general, deal with them. And I went.
A guard who really turned out to be demons rushes at the player.
Leah : Run through the sewer! Like in Lut Goleine, fans will like!
Player : When we, Leah, wait for Adriya, your mother died? Maybe she has a stone of souls in her pockets? Or maybe somewhere there is a secret stones of stones? However, no, it would also be too banal ..
Suddenly the emperor appears
Emperor : I am surrounded by deceivers, but now I can help you!
Player : How did you run away from your own guard?
Emperor : I will not figure out to lie here, so I just get away from the answer. Not that I was a lord of lies or like that ..
Player : Yes, yes … yes ..
Emperor : But I'll find out who Belial is hiding behind. I have suspicions.
Player : We all listen carefully.
Emperor : I will help in your quest to overthrow me … that is, Belial. See how insidious I am? I help you against myself! Excellent masking that will never let you down!
Adria appears suddenly nowhere
Adria : I am free!
Leah : By the way, my dark talents have not yet bothering anyone?
Player : Do not care about dark talents. Better tell me how life, Adria? What is the weather forecast for Tristram for tomorrow? How do we kill Belial?
Adria : With the help of black stone, but it's not so simple!
Player : Yes, I don't care, I'm already used to it ..
Adriya shares a plan for the resurrection of Zoltan Kull, the Great Magician, who created a black stone of shower. This is the beginning of a new great campaign in McGaffin
Emperor : Look, I still help you-in the form of a hologram!
Player : And how do you do it?
Emperor : I have a special amulet.
Player : What are you saying!
Emperor : Honestly, honestly! That is, I think it was Belial, although I don't know for sure. But I find out!
Player : I am tormented by vague doubts that Belial is still dumber than I thought.
Zoltan Kull : In pursuit of power, I betrayed my brothers, but now I can believe me well. I will give you a black shower stone.
Adria : He fully deserves trust. I swear my daughter!
Player : At least he is a candidate for a chic battle with the boss, and since we do not have other means of promotion in the plot ..
Zoltan Kull : Fuh. My body is restored. Now you can betray you!
Player : This is a remake of the film "Dumb and Dumber"?
Zoltan Kull: All-all, I'm dying ..
Adria : Excellent, we have a stone of souls, but it is damaged … Leah, you can control it!
Leah : As?
Adria : Your dark talents. But do not think that you have them because it is part of my insidious plan. Nothing of the kind! I taught you without any back thought, because I foresaw that this day would come, but nothing more!
Leah : Even Tirael will not buy for this.
Adria : I will have to believe, otherwise you will not move on the plot.
Leah : Okay, I will control the Soul Stone with the help of my suddenly dark forces.
Player : Here is glorious. So, it's time to happen for another betrayal. Somewhere immediately after imprisonment in the stone of the last of the evils, agree?
Adria : Fits perfectly into my schedule.
Leah : What about me?!
All : They don't ask you at all! You are a plot tool, not a character!
Player : Now we kill Belial. Finally.
Player (emperor) : Like life, Belial?
Belial : How did you guess?! You are distinguished by a devilish mind and monstrous smart!
Player : Oh, better you didn't say that. Raicer, Picar! Collect the crew, we will need all the free hands for facials!
Belial : I think I have a lid.
Belial dies – his pride is not able to endure several million facepals around the world.
[[Break]]
Act III
Player : Oh, back to Mount Arreat. Well, at least not in the jungle
Adria : Taking this opportunity, I want to remind you: I can still be completely trusted for me!
Azmodan : Aegeus, Hero-Ingrah, I will crush you!
Player : Oh, another boss is in a hurry to the next world!.. And in general the "game hero" is not cool. For you, I am Nephale.
Azmodan : When I tease you, I have no sense!
Player : It is visible.
Random NPC : The army of Azmodan is smashing us. Pamagi!
Azmodan : I saw?
Player : At least you realize how much I will only give up the expls and good weapons on this?
Azmodan : Tra-la-la, I don't hear anything!
Player : Oh, okay. Where, you say, the massacre occurs?
NPC shows the road and it will be immediately chopped into cabbage.
Player : It's nice to always be in the center of events. So, until I rushed off to crumble demons … Adria, do not worry, Azmodan hit me personally, so you do not threaten the revelation until we kill him. It would be necessary to call this “act of the third: a personal matter!".
Adria : Yes, come on, make this pimple and cry with crying mom … or who he has there. I’m not getting tired of wondering how no one, including the mighty Tirael, did not realize that one stone of souls holding all the evils was an ideal weapon to release them with a gurt into one medium … By the way, about the guns ..
Player : I repelled your attack, Azmodan!
Azmodan : So that you, infection! Oh, that is … do not care! I will still ulcerate you with a hologram, because I can do it, here!
Player : I am glad to see you in true guise … probably. Small Belial somehow made an impression at all. Although you could polish the gum and better. These are gums?
Random NPC : Help, help us throw back the forces of Azmodan!
Player : Hey, you don't overdo it without me, good? And then I liked to throw off the demons from the walls ..
Random NPC : Without panic. Although you are quite obvious to the personal Azmodanov executioner, he will not send the troops to kill you personally. You can still playly playing through the fortifications, while my brothers and my brothers are dying next to you without playing a tangible role in the battle.
Player : Isn't the azmodan an outstanding strategist? Or this is another ability-to-service? Of those about which they are sober to the whole world, but never show in the case? He could have killed me, just focusing on me all my strength,-I could not resist the Zereg-Rush ..
Random NPC : But it would be dishonest!
Player : Of course, I don't care … But it is gratified to know that hell plays according to the rules, though?
Azmodan : Miserable little man, I am viciously laughing at your successes!
Player : You are with Magda, an hour, not relatives? Or also a typical contract?
Azmodan : I will destroy you with my atrocity!
Player : You replay a little, but nothing is the case at all.
Random NPC : My lord! The outstanding strategist has just invaded our pantry!
Player : Where are these picar with a district book, when we need a double facepalm?
Random NPC : Someone-who?
Azmodan : Pantry with a small delay turned out to be!
Player : Survived. You have already rolled up to excuses.
Azmodan : Victories to be your number. But any ingenious strategist knows – like me! – that the winner eventually awaits amazing!
Player : Give a crutch? Your rhythm is lame.
Azmodan : Miserable little man! I am an outstanding strategist and prove it with an attack on the forehead without avant-garde, with only a demon in the pantry! Fearing my treachery!
Player : Well, water rushed through the pipes … It's time to attack you and plug it mercifully. Nothing personal. Yes, by the way, a family resemblance to Belial is visible.
Azmodan : You are kidding? No, you are kidding?! I rolled hundreds of noobs with tank rabbies in C& C, and know!
Player : And this explains a lot. How about the party in Stratego?
Azmodan : Rr-rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Player : Truly.
Spider Madam : Hi, I will be instead of Magda. You shouldn't have killed her in vain. So you can’t do the ladies!
Player : Hello, another fairy of something. Thanks for the next Nudyatin, although I will already turn it from her.
Spider Madam : Trite, yes? But some kind of work, and work, even if you have to hang from the ceiling in this stupid suit ..
Player : Only so that the employer is satisfied, and?
Spider Madam : Well so … and now tremble from my spider insurance company!
Player : Who composed this nonsense?
Spider Madam : Don't like it – don't listen! Here, look better: I have boobs! I'll seduce you. The role, you see, is such. I am the embodiment of sin.
Player : Ah, got it. The embodiment of sin simply must be a woman. It’s not that I zealously defended the rights of women here, but what if I were a geem monk?
Spider Madam : I can know how to know? Everyone knows that the embodiment of sin is boobs!
Player : Listen, lady, I do not want to spoil you and all that, but personally I am more willing to be on a sweet. Could you become, say, a donut? I heard many religions condemn gluttony.
Spider Madam : And what it will be like? A donut hanging from the ceiling with tits and seductive inscription "Eat me"?!
Player (licks): Om-nonu!
Spider Madam : Oh how evil I am. And bad. I am evil!
Player : Yes I understood, I understood. When I can finally beat you, otherwise I got it out?
Spider Madam : Poor! Pill-pier!
Player : Stop, a? And I am already sick of the stairs. But, we must give you their due, these hefty cripples below look great in the interior. Where I took it?
Spider Madam : Evil, even … oh, I'm sorry, I got carried away. I will appear three times again – and we will definitely come in, I promise.
Player : I beg you! I still have an azmodan to kill, and then the schedule is clogged with a betrayal of adria and universal tantrum, when Lia is a original evil. Revaluation of values and all that!
Spider Madam : You have a reassessment of values, and I have a contract. So, dear, do your job, and do not bother me to fulfill your.
After a few more stairs and descents from the ceiling, the player wins the spider lady. You can exhale.
Player : Hey, Azmodan, you're how to spread in Pachisi?
Azmodan : Your victories lead to the right amazing! Take a look at my magnificent hologram … Once again!
Player : Your hologram has a kinescope sits down. Since the outstanding strategist intends to overcome me?
Azmodan : Since you talked about this, I was going to send my minions against you. Carefully measured portions so that they are easier to win. Until you get to me, and then we would have made.
Player : Actually I don't care, but the plan is quite. But, in the name of the holy transition of the course on the initiative, I beg you, even though you refrain from pathos curses! Or at least a repertoire of insults a variety.
Azmodan : This is not in the estimate. And in general you almost reached.
Player torn the azmodana, like a tuzik heating pad (tick!), and by orderly sent to the celebration of victory (another checkmark!).
Player (to yourself): Finally, right now they will betray me again. I look forward to what the rest will do when the Leah is the one-sulfur-out!
Adria : I betray you!
Leah : I am a new version of Diablo! Surprise! Well, please ..
Player (with expression) : Were you cursed, sudden, but inevitable betrayal!
Liyablo : Thanks, I am due to me!
Adria : Rehearsed for a long time, Nephale?
Player : I have hung up this phrase since Leah said that you are her mother. It was necessary to tell her that the Dark Wanderer was another son of King Leorik?
Adria : Well … "I flew from the prince of darkness" sounds better than "Darling, your dad was a player from the last version of the game".
Player : Clear. The meaning is the same, but it sounds and is saline.
Adria : Mmm! Salo!
Player : But in the first part you did everything to help the player overcome Diablo. Made the impression of a friendly, incorrectly understood character. Ask you why you are so, and what would you answer? Only honestly?
Adria : Listen, I didn’t write this Chu … wonderful story! And now I have to go! See you in addition!
Player : Curse. I wanted to ask, when and how she managed to sharpen all other souls in this contraption. I killed only Belial with an Azmodan, and there are at least five, which she took somewhere ..
Diablo : And I will go slightly to the sky. The people there are too much about themselves, it is time to knock off the arrogance from them.
Player : Hey, you don't want to kill me here and now? If you leave me alive, I will soon come to your soul – it is not for nothing that “Diablo” is on the box with the game with the game.
Diablo : Let me remind you that hell plays by the rules. And the rules say "no more than one final boss for an act". To the soon. And make sure that Tirael does not see how cool I shine angels.
Player : Missed. Get pulled up there! And I am amusing, watching how everyone else is spinning from the change that happened to Lia!
Diablo disappears in the portal.
Tirael : He kills my brothers! Everything is gone.
Player : Ah … you have nothing to say about LII?
Tirael : Whom?
Player : Yes about this girl that all three acts dragged for us. We still creminated her uncle. By the way, a strong plot element could come out of mourning this loss. It's a pity that some forgot about it. She had nothing of character development, but she was still with us.
Tirael : I do not recall.
Player : And you showed her how you sacrificed your angelic position when she chose you for not understanding what she was to lose Descard ..
Tirael : No, seriously, I have no idea who you are about ..
Player : Yes you are joking! It was she kept intact that stupid black stone shower good half of the act. This was her dark power unequivocally demonstrated in the act of the first, but no one noticed anything. And when her mother appeared, you eaten and did not choked that she was able to control the black stone of souls, no one said a word!
Tirael : Oh yes! My brothers are exterminated! I am in despair!
Player : Oh, okay. I have to persuade you, that falling into despair is stupid and unproductive?
Tirael : The player told me not to lose hope! Glory, glory to the player! He is better than angels!
Player : The achievement is small, to be honest ..
Tirael : Let's go, save the angels and prove to them that people are the highest race! At least players. NPC still sucks.
[[Break]]
Act IV
The player enters the portal and gets into heaven
Player : Then this is heaven?
Empire : It's all to blame!
Player : Um, remark is so out of the topic that I have nothing to object.
Empire : Hey, I'm just an imperfect angel. And you are an impeccable player who appeared to save me. I can't show like that right away how grateful for your help. This will shake my reputation with arrogant, narrow -minded and ungrateful cattle. And characters with character traits are more than one for players, as you know, are incomprehensible.
Player : Who told you that?
Empire : "Twilight" – a successful series of books! And they are written simply brilliant!
Player : Sorry, this is too thick ..
Empire : Sorry. I would say that the contract requires, but you are already in the know.
Player : Guessed ..
Empire : Forgive again. Yes, here's more: if you decide to linger, help us defend us from demons, all things, then I will have to try to kill you.
Player : Okay, well, I understand, your business is to show me that the angels are not well -known. But why is so clearly mowing under demons?
Empire : But this is you in vain. I'll take it and take offense!
Player (Tirael): The further, the better I understand why Diablo wanted to put your ass so. Remind me why I help you?
Tirael : We are angels! We are good!
Player : And in my opinion, the same bastards as the lords of hell.
Tirael : We are angels! We have a bright light, and blue rivers, and all that is supposed to.
Player : Wait, let's clean. You make good choice of color and architectural style?
Tirael : In addition, the game is called "Diablo", not "Empire"!
Player : I don't seem to do not care … Why not kill both of you?
Tirael : But I helped you!
Player : And for this worthy case you were reduced to a person. But, in principle, you're right. You scratched my back, now I scold yours … Let's go.
Diablo : With my voice demonic, I am inquisitive!
Player : Just not that. And you there!
Diablo : You won't pass!
Player : They say that repetition is a mother of obsessive states.
Diablo : I am a lord of horror!
Player : Maybe you think about changing the profession?
Diablo : Well, formally I am now – all the lords in one person.
Player : What explains your tendency to insult me for no reason.
Diablo : … I am vicious and will destroy you with my sinister villainy fatal!
Player : And where is the ignition for demons when it is so needed?
Tirael : Look, Izual!
Player : OP-Panki! Didn't I defeat him in the second “devil” and did not free his soul at your request?
Tirael : What?
Player : I remember this very well. By the way, if you think about it, at that time, Decard Cain taught all day next to you! How could he not recognize you when you fell into the Trostra Cathedral?
Tirael : I was in the hood.
Player : And asked me to free the spirit of Irto! I got caught!
Tirael : Listen, Izual here is the same as all the other famous enemies: so that fans feel in touch with the former games.
Player : And already overwhelm? Here's how with Aidan, who suddenly turned out to be the second son of Leorik and defeated the Diablo-Trostrand, only to leave for the Dark Wanderers?
Tirael : Uh ..
Player : Okay, I don't care! I’ll go score an roak!
Diablo : I am still soaking you! And I am really a villain of villain. Here's how I'll go, how to desecrate McGaffin!
Player : Well, Vali. Forward and with a song. I have taken stress, I already don't care.
Empire : I knew that you will linger with us. I'll kill now!
Player : Can I kill him? Imperius, in the sense. If there is an angel to whom the damage would only benefit, it is he!
Tirael : Not stupid. Angels – good guys. He behaves like that, only to show how much you are above, because not a goat.
Player : Congratulations, he succeeded: and now I want to break his dull head. I begin to regret that I was not awake with Zoltan! This type at least seemed sane.
Diablo : Really? That's what busting is brought to, in hell they are all worth it for one!
By the power of McGaffin, all angels lose their angelic essence and fall unconscious. Or dead. I hope it's dead.
Player : Diablo – man! I respect! I thought Imperius did not shut up anything.
Diablo : I said for me.
Player : Come on five!
Tirael looks disapprovingly.
Player : Hey Tyr, you are alive?
Tirael : Of course, I'm no longer an angel.
The player looks at the sky.
Tirael : As?
Player : Yes, I just look so that it does not fit in inadvertently by the overhead. There was no other way to show that people, especially players, are better than angels?
Tirael : Well, yes. And we could not allow you to steal the angel below the belt for the fact that he … um … hmm … goat!
Diablo : For this we are, villains. And we had to get you throughout the whole acts. To give you the reason to beat us.
Player : But I really don't want to kill you, Diablo. What you did here is just great. And a couple of hefty cripples Space Wins Casino would look great here. And these angels themselves asked for themselves!
Diablo : I'm sorry, but I have to insist on a mortal battle.
Player : Here is a native!
Diablo : You know the rules, player.
Player : … and hell plays by the rules.
Diablo : Let's go!
Tirael : It has been proved that evil is bad, but good is good. And the player showed me that people are the coolest, although he is actually a nonfalle, and not a person. And the moral of this fable is this: the players are cool. They are much better than angels. Not because, it is true that the angels are still good, no, they are all goats. I realized my delusions and a person now to the brain of bones. Because people, they are master … Ho … it would be nice for us all to try not to be idiots, that's what. Beautiful conclusion. Much better than the original. Now go and go through the game again! Only with prey for the most time!
Player : With pleasure. But I have the last and most important question I still have.
Tirael : Ask, Nefalem!
Player : How to miss the plot here?
P.S. The author’s opinion may not coincide with the opinion of the editorial office, your or at all a draw. All claims regarding the content of the play are asked to predict directly to him.